Clean Jokes — best jokes

What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony?
→ The Brit Awarts!

Why did the lizard go on a diet?
→ It weighed too much for its scales!

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
→ A frog with hiccups!

What's a toad's favorite ballet?
→ Swamp Lake!

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
→ Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!

Why was the frog down in the mouth?
→ He was un hoppy!

What is the most breathless thing on television?
→ The Pink Panter Show!

What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
→ A terrified postman!

When is a lion not a lion?
→ When he turns into his cage!

What do cat actors say on stage?
→ Tabby or not tabby!

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
→ I'm paw!

What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?
→ An aunt-eater!

What do tigers wear in bed?
→ Stripey pyjamas!

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
→ Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

How is a cat laying down like a coin?
→ Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!

Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
→ Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning!

What cat purrs more than any other?
→ Purrsians!

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?
→ C-A-T!

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
→ There was some money in the kitty!

What does a cat call a bowl of mice?
→ A purrfect meal!

Why did the cat sleep under the car?
→ Because she wanted to wake up oily!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
→ He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!

What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
→ A duck filled fatty puss!

What kind of cat should you take into the desert?
→ A first aid kitty!

Why do cats chase birds?
→ For a lark!

What do cats read in the morning?
→ Mewspapers!

What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws?
→ An acrocat!

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
→ Puss in boots!

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
→ Because she heard fowl language!

There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left?
→ None. They were all copy cats!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
→ A catastrophe!

Who was the most powerful cat in China?
→ Chairman Miaow!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
→ A cat-a-logue!

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
→ An octopuss!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
→ Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

When the cat's away.....?
→ The house smells better!

Why was the cat so small?
→ Because it only ate condensed milk!

Why did the cat cross the road?
→ It was the chicken's day off!