Celebrities — best jokes

What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did?
→ A dead girlfriend.

What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth?
→ Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics, how to ruin the people!

Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
→ Because they can't afford any more pork.

Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
→ Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None--He'll only promise "change."

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.

How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies?
→ He's the stiff one.

Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
→ Santa's little Elvis.

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
→ An a-cat-emy award.