Celebrities — best jokes

What's got four legs and no ears?
→ Mike Tyson's dog.

What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
→ Dingo Starr!

What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?
→ I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.

What do you call 1,000 heavily armed lesbians?
→ Militia Etheridge

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Nice pigs, sir".
The president replied, "These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs. I got one for Hillary and I got one for Chelsea."
The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, sir."

- What are you doing?

- I'm trying to call Washington!

- Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
→ Because he was dead!

- I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare.

- William Shakespeare's dead, silly.

- No wonder he hasn't replied.

Who is in cowboy films and is always broke?
→ Skint Eastwood.