Celebrities — best jokes

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?
→ They always want to play leap frog with him

What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony?
→ The Brit Awarts!

How do frogs die?
→ They kermit suicide!

What do you call a literary fish?
→ Salmon Rushdie!

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road. Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer.

They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed like hours.
When the chauffeur came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his driver had been in there so long.

"Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." explained the driver.

"What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.

The chauffeur replied, "I told him I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig."

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. "If I ever stop hating girls," said one to the other, "I think I'll stop hating her first."

How is the Easter Bunny like Shaquille O'Neal?
→ They're both famous for stuffing baskets!

Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie actor?
→ Rabbit De Niro!

How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest?
→ By tree mail!

How does James Bond type e-mails?
→ With his goldfinger.