Situations — worst jokes

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself.
"It was the most amazing thing ... it was the most amazing thing." she kept repeating dazedly.

"What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers.
"I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"

The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a VERY cold winter?"

"Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

The U.S. has only three hurricane warning centers - Coral Gables, FL, Guam, and Honolulu, HI (recently completed). All three have faced Category 4 hurricanes in the past month.
Which only goes to show: If you build it, they will come!

I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.

It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.

How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.

First cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."

- Hey, what's the weather like out there?

- I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears.

Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open? Because she expected some change in the weather.

There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.