Situations — worst jokes

There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him.

The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with 500 penguins walking in single file behind him.

The original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "What's going on? I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"

The new truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had enough money left over so now we're going to see a movie."

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who's fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Taureans don't like to change anything.

How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ One, but just try to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs.
They're too busy changing them for everyone else.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ So who wants to know? Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None - they'd rather sit in the dark.

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?