Sex Jokes — worst jokes

What's a Jewish American Princess's idea of kinky sex?
→ She moves.

What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac?
→ One that screws when she's just had her hair done.

Why does a Jewish American Princess close her eyes during sex?
→ She can't stand it to see her husband enjoy himself.

How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having their period?
→ Their son's dicks taste funny!

There's an Ahmish girl riding in a buggy with her mother, and she say's "my hands are really cold, how can I warm them up?" Her mother say's "Put them between your legs, that will warm them up." So she does, and her mother was right.

The next day the girl is riding in the buggy with her boyfriend, and he says his hands are cold, so the girl say's, "Put them between my legs, that will warm them up." So he does, and his hands get warm. The next day he has a cold nose, and they use the same remedy. The day after that he say's "My dick is really cold" and the girl says, "Put it between my legs and warm it up." So he does.

She's talking to her mother the next day and she asks, "Mom have you ever heard of a penis?" Her mother says, "Yes, why do you ask?" She says I don't know what they are, but they make an awful mess when they thaw out!

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
→ Nudity

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers.

The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"

Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question to ask and that he shouldn't ask it again.

He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she wouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again.

The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced.

Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should ask and to not ask that question again. He went away.

A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She asked what he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly told her he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at her driver's license.

He said, "Mother, you're 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddy divorced you because you got an 'F' in sex."

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say "Hi there little boy!!"

One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. They reply: "well, that is what size we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke!"

The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, "HI THERE LADIES!

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey, Pop! What are you doin'?"

His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning."