School — worst jokes

- Mother: What did you learn in school today

- Son: How to write

- Mother: What did you write?

- Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing

- Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?

- Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

Bad timing for an excuse

- Teacher: Why were you late?

- Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

- Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: My little sister ate it!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

- Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?

- Pupil: Not very much!