School — worst jokes

- Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear?

- Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow.

- Mother: Really? Why's that?

- Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

'Ann!' the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. 'If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?'

- Thirty two!

- Why did you say that?

- Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!

Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

'I'm not going to school today,' Alexander said to his mother.

- The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.

- Why?

- Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.

- Principal: I've called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn't use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy."

- Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

- Teacher: What happened to your homework?

- Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
→ The multiplication table.

- Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone?

- Fred: I didn't take it, Miss.

- Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan?

- Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it, sir.

Did you hear what happened when there was an epidemic of laryngitis at school?
→ The school nurse sent everyone to the croakroom.