Men Jokes — worst jokes

Why did God create man first?
→ So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it.

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you, what have you usually done wrong?
→ Made her chain too long.

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married.
Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
→ Nothing, you told her twice.

- Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?

- Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

- She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?

- He: Your sense of humor.

- She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?

- He: Your sense of humor.

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Does your wife ever ... well, you know ... does she ... well, let you do it doggie style?" asked one of the two. "Well, not exactly," his friend replied, "She's into the dog trick aspect of it." "Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?" "Well... not exactly. More like she rolls over and plays dead."

After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?"

The flattered husband said, "No, dear they haven't."

The wife yells, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?"

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear."

The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."