Men Jokes — worst jokes

Your so bald, I can see what your thinking.

A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume.

The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again." So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume. And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head."

Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I supposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you're a caramel apple."

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.

The frog said to the princess, "I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."

That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't THINK so."

Why men like to fishing so much?
→ They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.

What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.
→ Three Men And A Baby

Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!"

- That bad, huh

- She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!

Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?
→ So they know where to stop shaving.

"Helga, tell me something. Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?"

"Because they're stupid," said her friend.

What is the hottest part of a man's face?
→ His sideburns.

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None, the sockets go with the house.