Language Jokes — worst jokes

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?
→ The letter "E"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

More cool than funny, but...

racecar <===> racecar
drawer <===> reward
repaid <===> diaper
straw <===> warts
evian <===> naive [there's a message here, I think!]
smug <===> gums
star <===> rats
step <===> pets
step on <===> no pets

With all the recent talk of cloning, you'd think it was a new thing.

But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago. The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the madder the father got. One day, the father got so mad he pushed his son off a high cliff. The sheriff arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.

What happened to the Pope when he visited Mount Olive?
→ Popeye almost killed him.

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
→ A nervous wreck.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
→ A stick.

- Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.

- Would you spell that, please?

- Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.

The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor . . ."