Kids Jokes — worst jokes

"Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?"

"What's the matter with you?" asked his father.

"Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?"

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.

Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.

"Dad," the boy said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..."

"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.

"What bus should I take home?" the boy finished.

What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
→ A witch in soggy trainers.

What has handles and flies?
→ A witch in a garbage can.

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
→ To keep their hats pointed.

Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?
→ To keep her head warm.

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said his mother.
"I've just stepped in a poodle!"

If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
→ Because it wasn't raining.

How should you treat a baby goat?
→ Like a kid.

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
→ Shark absorbers!