Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

What did the sign on the whore house say?
→ Beat it we are closed

Did u know that a condom had a serial number?
→ No, I never had to unroll one that far.

What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
→ surname

What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
→ Almond Joy candy bar

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
→ A $20 bill

What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse?
→ Talk

A man went into a store to buy some condoms.
"That's 1 dollar 15 plus tax," said the store assistant. "I don't need tacks," said the man. "It'll stay up all by itself."

What do hookers do on their night off?
→ Type.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.