Blonde Jokes — worst jokes

Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel.

- I hear sirens. Jump! said the first one.

- But we're on the 13th floor! said the second one.

- This is no time to be superstitious, the first one screamed back.

Two secretaries were talking about their work.

- I hate filing, said one. No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I'm looking for. I forget where I have filed them.

- I used to have that problem too, but no more, her blonde friend said. Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can't miss it!

Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
→ To avoid the draft.

A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the Empire State Building. How do you tell them apart?
→ The bleached blonde would never throw bread to the helicopters.

WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
→ She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
→ She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
→ You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
→ Tell them a joke on Friday night!

How do you describe the perfect blonde?
→ 3 feet tall, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

How do you confuse a blonde?
→ You don't. They're born that way.

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
→ They're too hard to peel.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
→ You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
→ Proofreading.

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
→ For throwing out the W's.

Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
→ Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?
→ He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
→ Shine a flashlight in her ear!

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
→ She opens the car door.

How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
→ Fertilized.

Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called "How to Hug", only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?