Blonde Jokes — worst jokes

Why do blondes where underwear?
→ To keep their ankles warm.

Two brunettes and a blonde are having lunch at a cafe, all three are pregnant. Through out the coversation the topic of sex and pregnancy comes up, finally culminating in each one discussing their respective fetus' and the manner of conception.

The first brunette says "I know I am going to have a boy because I was on top."

The second brunette says "I know I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom."

The blonde is silent, she has a stricken look on her face, finally she bursts out "Oh my god, I'm going to have a puppy".

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ What's a light bulb?

A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter...

He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test.

"What is The Son Of God's name?" he asks.

She thinks for a minute, rubbing her chin in deep thought. "Andy!" She bursts out with a gleaming smile.

"No, I'm sorry that is incorrect, what made you say that?" he asks.

She starts singing... "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, andy tells me..."

A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race. They were supposed to swim the English Channel.

A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a little later. They waited hours for the blonde to show up. When she finally did, they asked her what had taken her so long.

The blonde was very upset as she screamed, "This was supposed to be a breast stroke race, and those girls were using their arms!!!"

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World.

When they were getting close there was a sign that read, "DISNEY WORLD LEFT." So they turned around and went home.

How do blonde's braincells die??
→ Alone

What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
→ They both wiggle when you eat them.

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra?
→ They'll be square because they forget to take the Klennex out of the box.