Blonde Jokes — worst jokes

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
→ Wave at her.

What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios?
→ Donut seeds.

What is eternity?
→ When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!

Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?
→ They went to see "Closed for Winter".

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside. Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in.

The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"

The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
→ They think their picture is being taken.

A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That's not a TV - it's a microwave."

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.

- Please state the nature of your emergency.

- Help! My house is on fire!

- Okay, where do you live?

- In a house you silly billy!

- No,no! How do we get there?

- Duh! Big Red Truck!!