Animal Jokes — worst jokes

What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra?
→ Tuskanini.

What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
→ One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?
→ A Rolling Stone says:

- hey you, get off of my cloud! - while a Scotsman says:

- Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
→ To get away from the bagpipe recital.

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
→ He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
→ So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
→ Bach in the saddle again.

What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
→ The baritone.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
→ The dog knows when to stop scratching.

There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?
→ The frog's probably on its way to a gig.