Animal Jokes — worst jokes

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?
→ No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said:

- Oh i know.

So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said:

- Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?

His wife just said:

- Hair Restorer with a permanent wave.

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said:

- Look at that dog with one eye!

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes:

- Where?

While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.

I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud:

- I wonder why?

The blonde replied:

- Must be because the oil would suffocate them.

Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
→ Because she loved children.

How does a blonde kill a worm?
→ She burys it.

How does a blonde kill a fish?
→ She drowns it.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
→ She threw it off a cliff.