Worst jokes

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says:

- Hey aren't you going to pay for that?

The man says:

- Excuse me, Castro's Army.

The bartender says:

- Alright then

and the man leaves.

A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says:

- Hey aren't you going to pay for that?

The man says:

- Excuse me, Castro's Army.

The bartender says:

- Alright then

and the man leaves.

The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says:

- Hey aren't you going to pay for that?

The Scotsman says:

- Excuse me, Castro's Army.

The bartender says:

- Hey where is your big black beard?

The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says:

- Secret Service!

A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer.

- That will be one ruble - says the bartender.

- One ruble! - the customer protests

- last week it was only fifty kopeks!

- Well - replies the bartender

- it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika.

Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says:

- We are out of beer.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.