Worst jokes

Why did the bed spread?
→ Because it saw the pillow slip.

Shall I tell you the joke about the bed?
→ No, because it hasn't been made up yet.

Why do people go to bed?
→ Because the bed won't come to them.

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?
→ Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark.

- Hello, Jenny, - said the neighbour.

- Isn't it time for little girls to be in bed?

- How would I know? - asked Jenny.

- I haven't got any little girls.

- I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed.

- Oh, that's all right, I don't mind at all.

- Right. Here's a hammer, a saw, and some nails. The wood's in the garage.

I have four legs, but only one foot. What am I?
→ A bed

How can you shorten a bed?
→ Don't sleep long in it.

Three boys were sharing the same bed on holiday, but it was so crowded that one of them decided to sleep on the floor. After a while, one of his friends told him he might as well get in to bed again. 'There's lots of room now,' he said.

- I'd like to buy a bed, please.

- Certainly, madam. Spring mattress?

- Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all year.

- You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach.

- Oh, Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side.