Worst jokes

What have I got in my hands?
→ A double decker bus!

You looked!

- Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today?

- No. Is there a strike?

- No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

- Conductor, this bus was very slow!

- Oh, I expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!

Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but didn't hurt yourself?
→ Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the bus.

Sam left work after a tiring day.

- Take the bus home - suggested a friend.

- My mother would only make me take it back - Sam said.

- Passenger: Does this bus go to London?

- Conductor: No.

- Passenger: But it says London on the front.

- Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?
→ Dead.

Why did the bus stop?
→ Because it saw the zebra crossing.

A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside.

- There's no room. It's full up!

- But you must let me on! - shouted the man.

- Why, what's so special about you? - they asked.

- I'm the driver - replied the man.

When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?
→ I prefer to ride on top, but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.