How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane?
→ He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night.
What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke?
→ - You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers:
- If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.
- No - Clinton says
- That would be an ACCIDENT.
A girl raises her hand:
- If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy.
- I'm afraid not - explains Clinton
- That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
- What? - asks Clinton
- Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
- If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be tragedy.
- Wonderful! - Clinton beams
- Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?
- Well - says the boy
- because it couldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!
Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died?
→ Bill Clinton of course!
Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess?
→ Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess.
The last time they played best of five, Clinton won three games to two.
Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?
→ Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike?
→ Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.
Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
→ To meet the chick.
Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar.
Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene.
If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury?
→ When he's sworn in.
Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics?
→ Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame.
