A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.
Did you know that the three wise men were firemen?
→ It says they came from afir (a fire, a far).
here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented a hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find any birds they shoot. One year they did't go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemen who used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting but the farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn't have a replacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he saw them he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D. guys asked the farmer what the Corona boys did that could be so bad.
Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fine until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. Well whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer said they renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark all the time.
Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief.
The weather was misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker.
After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said:
- that does it! I am going out to get me a deer.
Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck.
The captain and chief asked:
- how did you get that?
The rookie replied:
- I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.
The captain then said:
- I've had enough of this I am going to get my deer.
He came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The chief asked:
- how did you get that?
The captain replied:
- I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.
The chief not wanting to be out done said:
- I am out of here, I am going to bag the biggest buck of the day.
He came back an hour later, all mangled up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked:
- what happened to you?
The chief replied:
- I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train.
Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning?
→ So they have something to do in the afternoon.
Have you seen the polish mine detector.
→ Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot.
Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.
What do you call an Inibrian who has been buried for 1000 years?
→ Peat!!!
Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
→ Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
Do you know why Eskimos always do their laundry in tide?
→ Because it's too cold out-tide!
