Worst jokes

Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat.

When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly:

- I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?

- Of course - the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years.

The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.

When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively:

- Don't touch me! I'm on a disability pension. - he cried.

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father:

- How does this boat float?

The father replied:

- Don't rightly know son.

A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked:

- How do fish breath underwater?

Once again the father replied:

- Don't rightly know son.

A little later the boy asked his father:

- Why is the sky blue?

Again, the father repied:

- Don't rightly know son.

Finally, the boy asked his father:

- Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?

The father replied:

- Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'.

Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when they came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.

At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.

Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other:

- This is the place!.

The other replied:

- No, it's not!.

The first man said:

- Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.

To which the other man replied:

- Silly, you can't tell a brook by it's clover.

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says:

- Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?

The other guy says:

- Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, "Only caught one, eh?"

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted:

- Are there any gators around here?!

- Naw, they ain't been around for years! - the man hollered back.

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy:

- How'd you get rid of the gators?

- We didn't do nothin' - the beachcomber said.

- The sharks got 'em.

Where do fish wash?
→ In a river basin!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
→ A motor pike!

Which fish can perform operations?
→ Sturgeon!