Worst jokes

Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at other people's lights.

Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.

Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous movie scenes?
→ A stunt ham.

The teacher was furious with her son:

- Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig.

The boy said nothing.

- Well! Do you know what a pig is?

- Yes, Mom - said the boy.

- The offspring of a swine.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?
→ A crashing bore.

Why do pigs never recover from illness?
→ Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

What kind of tie does a pig wear?
→ Pig's tie!

What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes?
→ A swine gut!