Worst jokes

What have a blonde and a computer got in common?
→ You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!

What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?
→ All you can eat for under a buck.

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
→ A brunette with bad breath!

A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.

The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."

The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm counting cars," comes the reply. "Want to help?"

"Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the highway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."

All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semi drives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walks down the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette saidthat her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Headand Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,"How do you give shoulders?"

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.

Brunette: Last night I had three orgasms in a row!

Judi: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.

Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.

Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women.

This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can just go to work.

- Job Applicant: I'm looking for a job as a consultant.

- Employer: I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants.

- Applicant: That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.

- Employer: More than we can use already.

- Applicant: As he is getting desperate, "I'm not proud, I can do paperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."

- Employer: It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications.

- Applicant: As he stands up and angrily yells, "work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"

- Employer: Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening.

Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

Yo mama is so fat, she eats her cereal out of a satellite dish.