School — most viewed jokes

Where do children learn their ABC's?
→ At LMN-tary school!

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.

'I come from a one-parent family,' said one little girl proudly.

'That's nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family!'

- Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted?

- Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners?
→ Mercy!

- Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners.

- Son: But, Mum, I don't want three school dinners, one is more than enough!

Did you hear what happened when there was an epidemic of laryngitis at school?
→ The school nurse sent everyone to the croakroom.

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?
→ Collecting his thoughts.

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
→ An old man!

On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!"

"That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?"

"Just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!"

"That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Just a lucky guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied.

The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied.

The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?"

The boy replied, "A puppy!"

- Teacher: Why are you the only child in the classroom today?

- Pupil: Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday!