School — most viewed jokes

- Fred: I got 100 in school today.

- Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?

- Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History.

- Mother: Well, at least you can add!

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?
→ Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!

- Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?

- Pupil: Dead? I didn't even know he was sick!

A college friend was going to meet a young lady he knew.

"An old flame?" I asked.

He winked and said, "More like an unlit match."

- Jennifer: Are you coming to my party?

- Sandra: No, I ain't.

- Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain't. It's I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming.

- Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming?

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ One. But he gets three hours credit.

Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by?

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?
→ He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

- Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?

- Girl: One - the dead one!

Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.