School — most viewed jokes

- Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?

- Class: At once!

When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels.
The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals.

Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work would supply them with big bucks after graduation.

"Well, I've always thought I'd like to be a doctor," said Higginbote. "Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe."

"Obstetrics?" scoffed Goldstein. "At the rate science is going, you'd no sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody'd find a cure for it."

Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. "I'd like the bathroom done in white!"

Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, "Green up! Green up!"

"I want the bedroom in blue!" continued the woman.

The contractor listened and yelled out the window, "Green up! Green up!"

"The halls should be done in beige!" she instructed.
Again, the man barked out the window, "Green up! Green up!"

"Will you stop that?!" shouted the woman. "Every time I give you a color, all you do is shout 'Green up!' What the devil does that mean?"

"I'm real sorry, ma'am!" explained Corbett. "But I got three Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin' to put in the front lawn!"

- Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?

- Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."

"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."

Did you hear about the Penn State professor who went around in a revolving door for six hours because he couldn't remember whether he was going in or coming out?

The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards.
"No mis" he replied

- Teacher: What happened to your homework?

- Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

- Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?

- Pupil: Not very much!