School — most viewed jokes

Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
→ The school went on a trip!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
→ Because there are no pupils to see!

School Meals by R. E. Volting

- Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?

- Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines!

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

- Fred: Where does the new kid come from?

- Harry: Alaska.

- Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend?
→ They were both driving their cars at the time!

- Teacher: Name two pronouns?

- Pupil: Who?, me?

- Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

- Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper.

'Alec!' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?'

'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do!'