Police Jokes — most viewed jokes

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

Why are burglars such good tennis players?
→ Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have?
→ Organised grime (crime).

Things never to say to a cop:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son.. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

What hired killer never goes to jail?
→ The exterminator.

When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels.
The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals.

- Policeman: What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

- Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."

"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."

- Policeman: Why were you speeding?

- Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

- Policeman: Why did you stop your car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

- Motorist: The light just turned yellow.