Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
→ He wanted to have a birthday potty!

- You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach.

- Oh, Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side.

Cry Baby - by Liza
Weeping

A Little Boy Comes Running Into The Room and Says:

- Grandpa! Grandpa! Can You Make A Sound Like A Frog?

The Grandpa says:

- I Don't Know, Why?

The Little Boy Says:

- Because Grandma Says As Soon As You Croak, We Can Go To Disneyland!

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said:

- Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you.

The husband was thinking to himself:

- Oh no, what has he done now?

- Well, bro, what did you name them? - and asked with some trepidation.

Whereupon, his brother replied:

- I named the little girl Denise.

The husband, relieved, said:

- That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?

The brother winked and replied:

- Denephew.

What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old?
→ A two-year-old vampire.

- Knock Knock!

- Who's there?

- Adolf!

- Adolf who?

- Adolf ball hit me in the mouth!

A mother was having dinner with her two young children when her three year old daughter asked her why there were two holes in your nose.

Her four year old son quickly responded with:

- So you can still breath when you pick your nose!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cargo

- Cargo who?

- Cargo better if you fill it with gas first!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Ammon

- Ammon who?

- Ammon old hand at picking locks!