Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Caroline

- Caroline who?

- Caroline of rope with you!

- Do you like my new baby sister?

- The stalk bought her.

- Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head.

What would you get if you crossed a new-born snake with a basketball?
→ A bouncing baby boa.

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.

Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted:

- Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife!

What do you call a show full of lions?
→ The mane event!

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice:

- Shall we go home, Mother of Six?

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back:

- Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming down.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

Someday we might discover magnets that can point in any direction.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.

The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important thing.

The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said:

- My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.

The teacher said:

- That was good, Mary, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Sally raised her hand and said:

- My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.

The teacher said:

- Good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him. Johnny said loudly:

- My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons.

The teacher said:

- That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence.

Little Johnny continued:

- But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!

What do tigers wear in bed?
→ Stripey pyjamas!

- 1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days?

- 2nd Monster: He's at medical school.

- 1st Monster: Oh, what's he studying?

- 2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying him!