Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat.

- Maureen: Why?

- Michael: She can't bear to stop talking.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Brad

- Brad who?

- Brad news I'm afraid!

- Fred: My mum's having a new baby.

- Drew: What's wrong with the old one?

Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian?
→ He's looking for a crypt writer.

Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes?
→ They looked both ways before they crossed.

- I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock - said the principal to a new boy.

- No, Sir. I've got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.

What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
→ The tiger lily!

- Knock Knock!

- Who's there?

- Ahmed!

- Ahmed who?

- Ahmed a big mistake coming here!

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day:

- Well, Skip - said the scout - Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.

Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married.

His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny:

- How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?

He replies:

- Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do o.k.

His father says:

- That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?

Johnny answers:

- Well, so far, we've been lucky...