Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
→ A tiger has the mane part missing!

One day, little Mikey comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom.
He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked, heavily into the act of lovemaking. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing was wrong. Mikey watches, and after a couple of minutes asks:

- Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsy ride?

- Of course, Son, we're a family.

So Mikey climbs on and after a few more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly.

- Hang on Dad! - cries Mikey - this is where me and the mailman usually fall off!

- What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?

- A giraffic jam.

Did you hear about the vampire who got married?
→ He proposed to his girl-fiend.

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said:

- Watch out for worms won't you!

The first one replied:

- why should I? They can watch out for themselves.

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

- Why? - asks the father.

- The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'

- But that's right!

- Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'

His father asks:

- What's the fucking difference?

Johnny says:

- That's exactly what I said!

A doctor was holding a new baby that he had just delivered.

The baby looked up at him and said:

- Are you my father?

The doctor said:

- No, I am the doctor that delivered you. Then the doctor handed the baby to the nurse.

While the nurse was cleaning the baby the baby looked at the nurse and said:

- Are you my father?

The nurse said:

- No, I am just the nurse. Then the nurse gave the baby to the new father.

The baby looked at him and said:

- Are you my father?

The new father said proudly:

- Yes! I am your father.

Then the baby started poking his father in the forehead over and over again and said:

- So how do YOU like it?!

The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy.

- Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy? - she asked the salesclerk.

- It's designed to adjust the tot to live in today's world, madam - the shop assistant replied....

- Any way he tries to put it together is wrong.

Why do bears have fur coats?
→ Because they'd look stupid in anoraks!

What people travel the most?
→ Romans.