Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?
→ A stri-ped!

Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child:

- No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible, but I like your thinking.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR KID IS TAKING DWEEBONICS CLASSES

10. They tilt their head sideways to smile.
11. When you ground them, they say, "Your UI could really use some work."
12. They say, "My dad can beat your dad at Quake."
13. Instead of laughing, they say, "LOL."
14. They insult kids by saying, "And you've got limited bandwidth!"
15. They change the answering machine message to "BRB, leave your URL, and we'll TTYL."
16. This is how they ask someone out on a date: "Umm, uh, well...see ya!"
17. Calling from camp, your homesick child says, "I'm roaming outside my service area!"
18. When you ask if they've finished their book report, they say, "It's in beta, but it'll ship in time."
19. You're telling them something they don't want to hear. They're saying, "NAK, NAK, NAK" the whole time.

Do you know how to catch a squirrel?
→ Climb a tree and act like a nut!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Brighton

- Brighton who?

- Brighton-der the light of the moon!

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark.

- Hello, Jenny, - said the neighbour.

- Isn't it time for little girls to be in bed?

- How would I know? - asked Jenny.

- I haven't got any little girls.

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
→ He stank to the bottom of the pool!

Why was the skunk angry?
→ He was incensed!

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
→ Because he was newt to the area!

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
→ Because it's a 'mane-lion' station!