Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?

- No you can have turkey like everyone else!

A little girl was next in line.

- My name's Curtain - she said.

- I hope your first name is not Agnate?

- No, it's velvet!

The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards.

- No mis - he replied

After having quadruplets, the mother named them... Adolph, Rudolph, Getoff, and Stayoff.

What do you call an Igloo without a toilet?
→ An Ig!

Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran.

- Would you like another cookie? - she asked.

- Yes, please - replied Jimmy.

- What good manners you have - said his Gran.

- I do like to hear young people say "please" and "thank you".

- I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of that cake - replied Jimmy!

A little girl was playing in the garden when she spied two spiders mating.

- Daddy, what are those two spiders doing? - she asked.

- They're mating - her father replied.

- What do you call the spider on top, Daddy? - she asked.

- That's a daddy long legs - her father answered.

- So, the other one is a mommy long legs? - the little girl asked.

- No - her father replied.

- Both of them are daddy long legs.

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

- Well, we're not having any of THAT in our garden.

Why did a snowman send his father to Siberia?
→ Because he wanted frozen pop!

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied:

- I'm drawing God.

The teacher paused and said:

- But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied:

- They will in a minute.

What is a collie puppy's favorite toy?
→ A chew-chew train!