Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.

Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

John was hard at work with the broom in his family's tent.
His mother came in and said, 'That's nice. Are you sweeping out the tent?'
'No,' John answered. 'I'm sweeping out the dirt.'

Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. 'Would you like another cookie?' she asked.

'Yes, please,' replied Jimmy.

'What good manners you have,' said his Gran. 'I do like to hear young people say "please" and "thank you".'

'I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of that cake,' replied Jimmy!

Where do snowmen put their webpages?
→ On the winternet.

What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer?
→ I.C.!

What do you call an Igloo without a toilet?
→ An Ig!

A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap into the living room. "How did you manage to do that?" he fumed.

"Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left!"

- What sort of a car has your dad got?

- I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T.

- Really - Ours only starts with gas.

"Why are you crying Fred?" asked the teacher.
"'Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk. . ."
"Fred," said the teacher. "You must have known that Wisk's bad for parrots."
"Oh it wasn't the Wisk that killed it, sir. It was the tumble drier."

What does a snowman eat for dinner?
→ Ice-burgers.