Random joke from this category
"I'm worried," said the woman to her sex therapist. "I happened to find my daughter and the little boy next door both naked and examining each other's bodies."
"That's not unusual," smiled the therapist. "I wouldn't worry about it."
"But I am worried, doctor," insisted the woman, "and so is my daughter's husband!"
- Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?
- Son: I don't know, because in school we learn on apples.
What should you do if a monster runs through your front door?
→ Run through the back door.
Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods.
'How far is it to town?' Terry wanted to know.
'Six miles,' said Debbie.
'That's too far to walk,' Terry replied.
'It's not too bad,' Debbie said. 'We can each walk three miles!'
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."
The first student raised her hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell 'accountant.'"
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Belize
- Belize who?
- Belize yourself then!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Curly
- Curly who?
- Curly Q!
What game do little cows like to play?
→ Moonopoly.
Where do snowmen keep their money?
→ In a snowbank!
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"
The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."
