Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Come here, you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs.

- It's all right Dad, I know how!

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
→ He got atomic ache.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bologna

- Bologna who?

- Bologna & cheese!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bjorn

- Bjorn who?

- Bjorn with a silver spoon in his mouth!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Anya

- Anya who?

- Anya best behavior!

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.

"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"I dropped the ball."

Two little boys were visiting their grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their minds about what they wanted to eat.
Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them bread and water."
One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"

How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye?
→ Because it comes out in conversation

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Carrie

- Carrie who?

- Carrie me home, I'm tired!