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Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School:

- Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

- When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites.

- Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you? - his mother asked.

- Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it.

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Little Martin is four years old. One day while he was pestering his mother, she said:

- Why don't you go across the street and watch the builders work, maybe you will learn something.

Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, his mother asked him what he had learned.

Martin replied:

- Well first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son of a bitch doesn't fit so you have to take the cock sucker down. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each side and put the mother fucker back up.

Martin's mother said:

- Wait until your father gets home.

When Martin's father got home, Martin's mum told him to ask Martin what he had learnt today. When Martin told him the whole story, dad said:

- Martin, go outside and get me a switch.

Martin replied:

- Get fucked. That's the electrician's job.

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