Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bark

- Bark who?

- Bark you car on the drive!

- My teacher reminds me of history.

- She's always repeating herself!

The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked:

- How many have you caught?

- You're the tenth this morning - was the reply.

- Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

- Nurse: No change yet.

A little boy and a little girl, on a beach, are arguing. Little boy says to the little girl:

- I have a Nintendo!

Little girl says:

- Oh yeah, well I have a Sega and a Nintendo!

Little boy says:

- So, my dad's a doctor!

Little girls says:

- My dad's an astronaut!

Back and forth they went, each one trying to outdo the other until finally the little boy pulls down his shorts and proclaims, "But I have on of these!!!!" and shows the little girl his penis.

The little girl, not being able to retaliate, gets up and goes home. The next day, the little girl spots the little boy and proudly announces:

- My mom said that with one of these (pointing to her's) I can get as many of those as I want!!!!!!

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother:

- There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.

- How did you know that? - his mother asked.

- Daddy picked them up and looked underneath - he replied.

- I think it's printed on the bottom!

- Isn't the principal a dummy! - said a boy to a girl.

- Say, do you know who I am? - asked the girl.

- No.

- I'm the principal's daughter.

- And do you know who I am? - asked the boy.

- No - she replied.

- Thank goodness!

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.

What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster?
→ A purple people eater.

Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?
→ She had never learned to spell properly.