Instrument Jokes — most viewed jokes

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
→ You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
→ Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

How do you tune a fish?
→ With its scales!

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
→ A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
→ Both are offensive and inaccurate.

What's the definition of a gentleman?
→ One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
→ The doorbell shrieks!

- Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean?

- Pupil: Eighty