Instrument Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?
→ So the violists don't need to be retrained.

- Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.

- Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

What is the pig's favorite musical instrument?
→ The piggalo (piccalo).

How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?
→ You can almost hear them.

Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
→ So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
→ The bow is moving.

What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?
→ Drool.

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
→ They've had little use.

What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
→ You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away?
→ Because it had a hole in the middle.