Instrument Jokes — most viewed jokes

How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
→ You can't!

The New Drum by Major Headache

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?
→ Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
→ The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
→ Will the defendant please rise.

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.

He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.

Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?"

Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!"

Abe says, "So what's the bad news?"

Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
→ Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
→ Because he liked sole music!

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
→ Sit in the back and don't play.

How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
→ Write a whole note with "solo" above it.