Instrument Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's the definition of a nerd?
→ Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
→ A chain saw has a dynamic range.

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
→ Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?
→ Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
→ Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?
→ Write 'pp, espressivo'.

What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
→ No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
→ A viola burns longer.

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified.

Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?
→ He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.