Instrument Jokes — most viewed jokes

What will you never say about a banjo player?
→ That's the banjo player's porsche.

The Steel Band by Lydia Dustbin

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be.

The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down."

The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Only one, but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"

Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"

What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
→ A Lassie who plays brassie!

Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?
→ He wanted to sing higher!

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?
→ Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

Why did they arrest the musician?
→ He got into treble.

What's the range of an accordion?
→ Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!