Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

How did the jury find the hamburger?
→ Grill-ty as charred!

"Can I have some two-handed cheese, please?" a man in a restaurant asked the waiter.
"What do you mean, 'two-handed cheese'?" asked the waiter.
"You know, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other."

How do you make an elephant sandwich?
→ First of all, you get a very large loaf...

What tea do footballers drink?
→ Penaltea!

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down?
→ Crumbs!

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?
→ You've got no beef, soldier!

How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball?
→ He throws four meatballs!

What sort of soup do skeletons like?
→ One with plenty of body in it.

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.

"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."

"What's a Midnight Special?"

"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."

"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"

"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"