Festival Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
→ A Hot Cross bunny.

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?
→ Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

- I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you.

- A 'surprised' birthday party? What's that?

- That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!

- Ghost: Are you coming to my party?

- Spook: Where is it?

- Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
→ He has a whale of a party!

"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade."

Why were the trick-or-treaters wearing grass skirts?
→ Because it was Hulaween!

Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy?
→ He was celebrating his girthday!

Did you hear about the tree's birthday?
→ It was a sappy one!

It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit.

He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years."

"How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked.

"It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."